April 2012
Me at a horse show:
Me: AW LOOK HOW CUTE YOU ARE
Me: Oh my god I spent two hours on those braids this horse better be kidding me
Me: OH MY GOD THAT PONY IS SO CUTE
Me: What the hell does a green ribbon on the tail mean? Come bite me, I won't kick?
Me: What's my class again?
Me: Where's my number...I just put it down
Me: Can somebody hold this horse while I put my helmet on?
Me: I AM GOING TO DIE
Me: Can you check my stirrups?
Me: Can you check my girth?
Me: I AM GOING TO DIE
Me: Oh no you do not, you are going over that fence you little shit
Me: The corner is not scary, I repeat, the corner is not scary
Me: Did she say to walk or trot? Eh, I'll just see what everyone else does
Me: What jump comes next
Me: ...not that one?
Me: ...oh
Me: 3, 2...okay or we can just leave right here
Me: Can I use that crop?
Me: Is this your martingale?
Me: Will you hold this horse while I pee?
Me: I. NEED. WATER.
Me: Those are definitely two feet higher than what you told me I was jumping
Me: How in god's name am I going to remember this course
Me: HEELS DOWN HEELS DOWN HEELS DOWN
Me: You--are--a--little--shit
Me: FOURTH? I GOT FOURTH?
Me: I thought I was eliminated!
“Any serious U.S. policy toward China must confront the facts of the Chinese...”
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thegreat48:
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airdotcaptain:
‘Pull the hair on my head the wrong way, and I would be on my knees begging for mercy. I have very sensitive follicles.’
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